EX IN 8/9 RAR By Craig Hannan, 8/9 RAR

My first major exercise in the battalion was Brahman Drive. The CO decided to do a trade with the Kiwi Company – a few of theirs for ours. Well, I got lumped so had to trade my M60 for a shit box Mag 58 (yeah, I’d rather carry a 60 than one of those great lumps of scrap). The first day we did a long stomp well into the night. We harboured up and began digging in stand down. I got my sleeping bag out and the Kiwis got up me for being a pussy having sleeping gear. Well, on my turn on the gun I noticed they were all up doing push-ups and exercising. I thought nothing of it and went to my pit. I found the fuckers had been hot swapping my bag. The stupid cunts hadn’t brought any sleeping gear and the temp was dropping as low as seven at night. All they had was a Howard green jumper each. Well, I was green and knew shit about shit and they were paying out on me – to be expected. I got the crap belted out of me for chatting the seco. They didn’t like me laughing at their dumb arses and visa versa. This went on for the first two weeks until they managed to get a few great coats but still no bags, so the whole ex was spent hot swapping with these dirty fucks. I had to trade my bag for a new one at the end.
Roll on six years now in SASR with a bunch of Kiwi SAS over on ex. We were on the piss with them one arvo up the boozer and one of them started telling us about this ex at Brahman Drive. I told him that yeah, I’d been on that one. He launched into telling me all about this piss-ant Aussie they’d had with them that hadn’t known shit and what a wanker he’d been. He added how they’d belted him and tortured him for not knowing shit and being a smart arse.
I said nothing for a quite a bit before replying that my excuse was that it had been my first ex in the Army. I knew shit cause I knew shit. What had been their excuse for being stupid fucks? He looked at me and got into me, and I listened until he’d finished. I didn’t know about anyone else there but thought I’d known the desert went sub zero since I’d been about 10. So why didn’t those stupid cunts bring sleeping gear rather than use mine to hot swap? The boys lost it and pissed themselves. This fucker drank his beer and left.
The next day the payback began on the silly fuck. Cartoons of Kiwi digs freezing and trying to curl up with sheep, jackets, jumpers and sleeping bags were stuffed in his gear. At the boss’ briefing the SSM walked in and handed him a new issue of sleeping gear and thermal undies in front of all his mates. Ten heaters were set up in his room and switched on for when he got home from nights on the piss. The boys jacked off all over his bed. One night after he’d been on the piss I think it was Pete wandered in and pissed on him while he was in bed.
Payback is just so much fun.

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