FOOT IN MOUTH By Craig Hannan, 8/9 RAR
Another bike-related one. I was riding out to the front gate to head down the coast for the weekend when it started to rain. I hit the roundabout and lost the arse and front ends, panning the bike and sliding up a driveway.
I was pinned under the bike by my right leg and saw an older guy mowing his lawn. I screamed out to him, “Hey, mate, get your guts over here, and lift this fucker off me!”
He stopped and stared for a bit so I called, “Fucken hurry up, the exhaust is burning my leg, cunt.”
He strolled over, helped me up and asked if I was okay. I thanked him and stuck my hand out. He was just about to take it when his wife came onto the front verandah saying, “Darling, Colonel Blah needs to speak with you.”
I looked at him and stood to attention. “Sorry, Sir. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”
He smiled and said, “Bit late for that one, digger. Where you from?”
I had just insulted the Task Force Commander – more extras. At least
he had a sense of humour about it. Talk about foot in mouth!