“GOING TO JAIL PARTY” By Joshua Rohan Goodwin, 5/7 RAR

We were preparing to head out bush and I was driver of 50A. All the trucks were being loaded and I sat in the compound waiting to be told to load up. A few hours passed and there was no sign of my crew commander so I assumed I was heading out the next morning. Being in Darwin, I went out for a few bevvies that night and woke to the phone ringing. I looked at the clock and shat myself as it was now midday! I figured I was AWOL anyway so cracked another beer. The guard came to collect me about 9 pm and I was told I was going out bush the next morning.
I went out and one morning whilst on range duty the CO and RSM rode up on dirt bikes. The RSM looked at me and asked, “Aren’t you the clown who didn’t load his carrier and was too pissed to come out yesterday?” To which I could only reply, “Yes, Sir.” He just smiled and said matter of factly, “I’ll be seeing you in my office when this is over.” Needless to say, I was shitting myself for the remainder of the ex. On returning home, the boys I lived with heard my story and threw me an awesome “Going to Jail Party” with strippers and the works.
The day came when I got the call up. I said my goodbyes as I was sure I was gone. As I marched into the RSM’s office and stood at attention. He just stared at me and said, “You are a dickhead, Private. Do you realise that? What are you?” I wasn’t sure what to say. He explained to me that my crew commander had left me to load the carrier and gone out bush without me knowing. He informed me I’d been kissed on the dick by an angel and I’d be very wise to never step into his office again. Needless to say, the boys couldn’t believe I’d got off and I never ever let my crewie out of my sight again.
Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.

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