When I was serving in SASR on the Counter Terrorist team, each year we would have “the begging time” when we would put on demos for the politicians to justify our budget and hopefully get some more.
This year it was Bob Hawke. He turned up with his entourage and was taken to the hangar to tour the equipment. One of the sergeants was giving him the running commentary on what it was used for. Well, they got to a certain point and on a code word, the roof sheets ripped away and four assaulters rappelled to the ground. Only instead of all landing and attacking their targets, one landed flat on his back, right in front of Bob Hawke. Well, Hawke looked down and was about to say something to the boss when the assaulter, Gary raised his MP5 and shot Hawke. He jumped to his feet, turned to his real target, shot it and called out “Clear”.
The final part of the demo was at the sniper stand. We were set up and waiting. They all turned up and the demo began – all good at the end. Norm asked if anyone would like to have a shot. Hawke’s equerry – a Naval Officer in dress whites stepped forward.
The officer lay behind one of the sniper rifles. The sniper coughed and said, “Sir, you need to move your head to the rear some or…”
The officer retorted smugly, “I’ve been shooting all my life.” The sniper went quiet and shook his head. The officer proceeded to fire, the rifle recoiled into him and he rolled away holding his face.
The officer stood with the most perfect sniper’s eye – a beautiful half ring gouge above his eye. We pissed ourselves laughing… Andy said in a beautiful impersonation of this prat, “I’ve been shooting all my life.” Hawke and all the hangers-on pissed themselves as well. This wanker stood there bleeding all over his whites, muttering, “Insubordination, insubordination, you’re all going to get it.” I think the unanimous reply through fits of laughter was “Piss off, idiot” and he did, still muttering.

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