I’M ON A WINNER By Craig Miller, 6 RAR

At the beginning of 2002, I had just been posted to 6 RAR. I’d never been to Brisbane before, only in transit. After two long years at Wagga I couldn’t wait to get back to my own kind, meet the boys and check out this Brisbane. Well, it was still rear details so off I went by myself into the city. I was having a pie from Brumbies, pulling the form guide out of the Saturday paper when a mate from 1 RAR spotted me and commented with a laugh that nothing had changed. I told him I was off to the races but he had plans. Oh well, no dramas. I had a day out to myself. I had an awesome once-in-a-lifetime weekend. Every horse I backed won. In the city, every pokie I played spat out hundreds. I was putting groundwork on sheilas from both sides of the bar and then bang, I was in.
This sheila took me back to her place which happened to be – wait for it – the fucking barracks at Enoggera. There we were, getting into the foreplay, stripping our gear off and then shit – after a big weekend – Millsy had a classic case of Brewer’s Droop. What could I do to save me the embarrassment and her the disappointment? I’d go down on her.
I reported for duty the next day. I touched base with CSM A/COY who was running rear details and a top bloke. All he needed was first and knock-off parades plus a parade rehearsal for Australia Day. After this I noticed I had a very crook throat. How could this be? It could not have been giving words of command.
The RAP told me I had a STD. Great. Whilst at the base hospital picking up my meds, just browsing through the mags, a voice said, “Here you go, Millsy.” It was her – the mole that gave me the thrush – was now giving me the meds for it. Damn, you’d think if she worked at the pharmacy, she’d have had the means to look after herself!
Some months later at boozer parade, a mate who’d been with 1 RAR and then 6 RAR was parading her around as his missus. I met her as if nothing had ever happened.
To this day, I have never told him. Sorry, Stoney. Let’s hope I never have a weekend like that again because I’m sure it will get me in the shit again!

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