IN A PIG’S EYE By Craig Hannan, SASR

During 1981 at the School of Army Medicine, Healsville on the 1/81 SAS patrol medics’ course we went to the morgue in Melbourne to watch some autopsies. On the way back we stopped for lunch. Well, Pete Sides thought he was from 1 RAR or 2/4 RAR (I can’t remember). He disappeared and came back with a bag.
We got back to base and had a lesson in about 10 minutes so we were hanging out. Sidesy got us all together and briefed us on what was going to happen. We all rolled into class and the sergeant instructor asked if we had any questions from the morgue trip. No one did so he got into the lesson on the eye and injuries.
Sidesy got up, walked to the front and dropped this eye on the table. He said, “Here, use this, we can dissect it and see how a real human eye works. I knocked this one off from the morgue.” The sergeant’s look was priceless and we thought he was going to vomit. He started to go off and Sidesy just held his hand up for him to stop, asking what the fuck he was worried about. We had the eye now and wouldn’t say anything.
The rest of us jumped in, agreeing that we should do the dissection. The sergeant looked around and saw we were all revved up, wanting to do it. He disappeared and came back with all the gear, ready to go. He lined the eye up on the board and was about to begin. We couldn’t hold it and lost the plot. He stood looking bewildered. Sidesy informed he it was a pig’s eye, idiot. He’d arranged to get one off a butcher, just for that purpose.
The self-importance of a superior is inversely proportional to his position in the hierarchy (as is his deviousness and mischievousness).

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