PISSING ON A TREE, THAT’S NOT CRICKET By Adrian D’Hage AM, MC. 6 RAR
It was Wednesday (Sports Day) and I had been in command of the 6th Battalion fully two days when it came to my attention that the battalion cricket team was short for that afternoon’s grudge match against 8/9 RAR.
“I play cricket,” I offered.
“It’s okay, Sir.” Translation: We’re not that short!
But as match time approached, no one stepped up and the team (reluctantly, I suspect) offered me a spot.
I turned up in my old Duntroon creams (which did nothing to impress anyone). I took a couple of catches and made a few runs (you will note I wasn’t asked to bowl) and at the end of the match I asked, “Where do you guys have a beer?”
By this time I suspect I had been at least partially accepted (albeit a somewhat different CO to those they’d been used to) and we repaired to the ‘Sportsmen’s Club’. I bought a round, (privately noting that the ‘club’ clearly needed some funds – the bar consisted of a ‘hole-in-the- wall’ at the end of the Diggers’ Mess, the shutters were made from re- enforcing mesh and railway sleepers – something I managed to fix by cancelling $70,000 of new furniture for the Officers’ Mess – it’s a matter of priorities).
“Where do you guys take a leak?” I asked.
“No dunny, Sir – we use the tree outside.” (Something else I decided to fix as I unzipped the fly in my cricket creams).
“YOU – YOU DIRTY BASTARD – GET DOWN TO THE TOILETS IN A COY!” yelled the duty corporal.
“Of course,” I replied, reminding myself that (a) the corporal was
doing his job, and (b), he wouldn’t have known me from Adam, which wasn’t his fault.
The corporal then went into the club and I gather he gave everyone a serve along the lines of “the next bastard I find pissing on that tree, I’ll be locking up”, and he couldn’t quite fathom why everyone fell about laughing. By the time I got back, he was coming out of the club, rather pale in the face and he snapped to attention apologising profusely.
“No need to apologise at all, Corporal. You were just doing your job,” and I shook him by the hand.
One of my first priorities as CO was to re-build the Sportsmen’s Club (although I gather other arrangements have been made these days at Enoggera). Some officers were less than impressed with the loss of the new furniture – others were onside – the priority must always lie with the digger, because without them, we wouldn’t have an Army.
Quote!
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned
positions.
