There’s a real legend in every battalion. We had one in 1 RAR – Rocket Roach. Roachy was the ultimate pisshead who would sit on a chair under the shower in the SAL with six-pack in hand and tell us that he would catch up with us shortly and meet us in Langs nightclub a bit later. We would return at 5.30 am to find him still clutching a can in his white shrivelled fist, with the shower still running as he snored away. He also had a mail-order Thai bride living in his room in the barracks for months. He used to sneak food from the mess to keep her fed and I will always remember him returning to the guard room 30 mins after we had mounted the guard with blow stains on the front of his poly pants.

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