I was a young 20-year-old private soldier in the 2/4 Battalion, which was based in Townsville and I was on my first promotion course.
It was September 1992 and we had just finished the barracks and theory phase of the course and we were out bush, up at High Range training area, conducting the field phase of the course.
The course went into its normal course routine – a platoon harbour, digging pits, sentry posts out, wire etc.
The members of my section all got along fairly well and back then I was 20 and one horny little fucker.
It was my turn on sentry post and I was taken out to relieve the sentry by my 2IC and told I would be replaced in 45 mins.
I was sitting back and thinking, ‘Bugger this.’ I had a spare 10 mins to kill and I was bored shitless. I had a deck of those nude cards; these were not your average topless cards that you usually get. These ones showed a lot more fruit and veg if you get my drift.
Anyway, I unclipped my webbing and laid all my cards out around me so I had a good selection of girls to look at. I was batting away, spanking the monkey when, all of a sudden, I heard the sound of a twig breaking and the sound of someone walking through the long grass.
‘Well,’ I thought, ‘that’s it, I’m fucked. How am I gunna explain this one?’
I quickly started raking all the cards with my hands towards me in a vain effort to conceal them.
I quickly looked around and saw the DS standing there with no expression on his face. He said, “Do you see or hear anything there, Pte Cassidy?”
“No, Sarg, nothing out there,” I replied.
He turned and walked away. I couldn’t believe I’d got away with it.
As I didn’t want to risk it again so soon, I quickly picked up my cards, removed all the grass and dirt from my pants and settled back in for my duty.
About 20 mins later, the 21C came out to relieve me with another digger and the 21C and I proceeded to go back in the platoon harbour.
When I was in sight of the platoon harbour, every member of the course including the DS was out the front of their pits, clapping and cheering like I was a hero. All I could do was smile and wave like the queen. What else could I have done? I’d been sprung fair and square.
The bloody DS had known all along and gone back and told everyone.

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