SGT BLUE By Colin Brock, 5/7 RAR, 8 PL C COY

I was Pl Sgt 8 Platoon; our boss was Lt Ben Taylor. It was halfway through an exercise and the boss was being replaced by a new Lt as he was going off on a course. The new boss was Lt Waite, straight from the factory so we decided to play a game of the whole platoon switching places. The carriers were harboured up at night and it was Non-Tac. The boss brought Lt Waite down in the middle of the position and proceeded to brief him on his handover. All the section commanders had swapped shirts with the diggers and so on. I swapped mine with the PHQ driver, Craig Blue. Bluey was a fair bit bigger than me so let’s say he couldn’t get all the buttons done up. He looked unreal. Over the next hour or so the boss didn’t miss a beat, keeping a straight face while conducting his handover.
Sgt Bluey was hilarious. One digger came up and told him he had lost his night weapon sight. Bluey’s reply was “Well, fuck off over to 9 Pl and knock one off them while they are sleeping. Fuck me, do I have to do everything myself?”
One bloke was pretending to masturbate over one of the 50 Cals on top of a carrier. Shit was getting thrown around inside the carriers. Sgt Bluey was throwing ammo everywhere – cups, canteen inspections and the list went on. Now the catalyst of the story, Sgt Blue, walked back over to the real boss, with the new Lt looking a bit gobsmacked.
“Sir, I can’t find my personal weapon.”
The boss looked at him and replied, “Well, where did you last have it?”
“Fuck knows” Bluey said. “I shot it two days ago on the range and haven’t seen it since.”
“Well, fucking fix it then.”
With this Sgt Bluey yelled for Pte Gard, who promptly ran over to him. “Pte Gard, I’ve lost my weapon and I’m taking yours so I don’t get in the shit. You will be charged and probably be fucked off. I’ll just dodgy up the Q record and make it look like you’ve lost your weapon.”
“That’s not right, Sergeant,” Pte Gard said.
“Stiff shit, now fuck off.”
At this stage myself, Cpl Elton Van Oorschot was behind one of the
carriers on his hands and knees in fits, trying not to laugh out loud.
This went on for about an hour before we put an end to it. I finally walked over to the old and new Pl Commanders.
“G’Day, Sir. This was all a put on.” He couldn’t believe it, saying he was about to go see the Company OC and ask what the fuck was going on in 8 Pl. He took it very well. Credit to Lt Ben Taylor and especially Sgt Blue. One of my funniest moments in my life.

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